FULL FLIGHT

I was in full flight
hurtling towards
Portsmouth Harbour
slightly delayed
attempting to catch the 9.12
to Victoria

Up The Hard
sweating, I approached
the steps
leading into
this sweet
on the top of the water
station:
still open entry!
still no ticket barrier things!

In my haste I
disturbed a gang of pigeons,
they rose into the air.
Well you know that
theory about how birds
have some sort of incredible
radar technology in their heads,
which means that no
matter how impossible it seems,
they always avoid crashing
into people or rapidly moving objects.
Well,
so much for that theory.

One slightly sluggish pigeon
lumbered awkwardly
into the air.
It seemed to have
miscalculated everything.
Flapping ineptly
it came straight at me!
I kinda tried to
get out the way,
managed to avoid it getting my face
but
it firmly brushed
my head with its wing.
"Aaah" I went.
I mean, bloody hell.

So,
next time you see
a bird coming
towards you,
don't place your
faith in its aerial abilities,
take my advice:
duck!