I'M OUT OF HERE

Last day in the Civil Service,
eight cruddy years

The chief statistician
a man of devout Christian
beliefs calls me into his office

He is as bland as the
monochrome, open-plan surroundings,
as soulless as the glass lifts

He has been instructed to
give me a final warning
for excessive sick leave

Despite my protestations
this slave of protocol insistingly
delivers the absurd reprimand

I was out of there in two hours
for forever! Gone!
But right now I was sitting petulantly
listening to some shrivel-arsed
tit telling me I could have no more days off sick
even though that was clearly an
impossibility

I maintained my surly
demeanour
throughout his pathetic performance.
When it had ended,
I got up, went down the cafe,
had a coffee and a bun,
went for a smoke
then returned to my desk
and half-pretended to work

Only another one hour
and twenty five
minutes to go!