Saturday, 30 May 2015

FULL FLIGHT

I was in full flight
hurtling towards
Portsmouth Harbour
slightly delayed
attempting to catch the 9.12
to Victoria

Up The Hard
sweating, I approached
the steps
leading into
this sweet
on the top of the water
station:
still open entry!
still no ticket barrier things!

In my haste I
disturbed a gang of pigeons,
they rose into the air.
Well you know that
theory about how birds
have some sort of incredible
radar technology in their heads,
which means that no
matter how impossible it seems,
they always avoid crashing
into people or rapidly moving objects.
Well,
so much for that theory.

One slightly sluggish pigeon
lumbered awkwardly
into the air.
It seemed to have
miscalculated everything.
Flapping ineptly
it came straight at me!
I kinda tried to
get out the way,
managed to avoid it getting my face
but
it firmly brushed
my head with its wing.
"Aaah" I went.
I mean, bloody hell.

So,
next time you see
a bird coming
towards you,
don't place your
faith in its aerial abilities,
take my advice:
duck!

Friday, 29 May 2015

RIDE ON

Let the horses of panic
gallop across beaches of melted plastic

Let the stallions of immediacy
trample the barricades of posterity

Let the colts of derision
grow rich on metallic malaise

Let the ponies of poetry
choke on their bitter words

Let the foals of contempt
leap into the unknown with one eye open

Let the mares of misery
murder the ghost of mysterious elements

Let the young bucks and the frolicking fillies
ride themselves into the ground

Thursday, 28 May 2015

STEP THIS WAY

Some dull idolatrous evening
when the senses are beguiled
I'll take you by the hand
and lead you to a garden wild

You won't believe what's happening
as you walk among the plants
your thoughts will all be exaggerated
by the magic of their dance

You'll see the world as it really is
pure energy shining bright
your body will dissolve
into a thousand shards of light

You'll reach for my hand but it won't be there
I've vanished out of sight
I've been replaced by eternity
and raptures of pure delight

Flowery and multi-coloured
you'll blend into the night
you'll never come back from my garden
but that will be alright

THIS IS DEFINITELY A POEM

Zinc
Yawning
X-certificate
Warning.
Vampires
Urinate
Tourists
Salivate.
Record
Queue
Politics
Overdue.
Nameless
Misery
Leaden
Jee-whizzery.
Idle
Hunk
Galloping
Funk.
Ecstatic
Dons,
Cold
Bronze
Aeons
WHAT I GOT YOU

I got you a jersey
of pure heaven
and a plastic bag full
of promises.
I got you concentrated
conceit
and a belly-full
of unexpected laughs.
I got you
lots of chaos
and a smattering
of confusion.
I got you
turquoise tomorrow
and the
sorrow that
instantly
disappears...

...but my gifts went unappreciated

I got you
what the postman
never saw,
an empire of doubt
and my divided attention.
I got you assaults
on precincts,
perpetual
procrastinating
and a shower
of delightful dates.
I got you silken delights.
I got you priceless
treasures and security
in numbers...

...still, you weren't satisfied

I went to the bottom
of the earth,
and brought you
the root of infatuation.
I filtered
from the saliva
of a thousand unwanted whippets
the elixir of youth.
I got down on my knees and
cracked open
an eternity
of indecision.
I purchased an island
put it in your hand
without the slightest
hint of irony
called you princess...

...you didn't even say 'Thank you'

I got you
the sweet smell of success,
a succession
of excuses,
permanent dizziness
and a Shakespearian
epiphany.
I invented colours,
sent you a link
to the origins
of the universe,
I got you what
you always wanted
and never had,
I got you
a deafening silence
and
a riot of shadows...

...and still you were unimpressed

I conjured up
hosts of cherubim,
flew you to
the dark side of the Moon,
spoke to you in a
dialect
of sexual delectation.
I got you
the holiday of a lifetime,
paradise on a stick,
the sensation of
forever being in love

and you took absolutely no notice,
you went on being yourself

I can't get you anything else
I've run out of ideas

You're on your own now



THIS IS NOT A POEM 2

Azure
Bitches
Corrupt
Decent
Ebony
Figures.
Gross
Hounds
Implode.
Jovial
Kerrymen
Litter
Monsoon
Nano-spheres.
Only
Poodles
Question
Relatively
Simple
Tasks.
Under
Venus
Wait
X-Rated
Zealots


THIS IS NOT A POEM

A
Bouncy
Cockroach
Danced
Energetically
Frantically
Gladly.
Hi-jacking
Insect
Jailbirds,
Kicking
Lice,
Massacring
Nouns.
Overcoming
Philosophy,
Querying
Roseslugs
Scream
Tainted
Undeniably
Virulent
Wanton
X-rated
Zen-poems